Gypsy Times!

Goonda Aunty and her book- The Reluctant Detective

2012-01-21T12:23:00.002+05:30

My son took his own sweet time to start talking- which he did after he turned 2.5 years. Before that it was a lot of random words. So you could have knocked me over with a feather when my not yet two year old stood in the balcony and called a lady walking around the block-Goonda! So apparently this was a lady whom he saw in the park every evening, who mock glared at him, who seemed to be in a state of perpetual motion- walking, talking, and keeping a hawk’s eye on a kid… smiling randomly at strangers during her walk, and the one thing I noticed- very well turned out even when she came down to the park to “huff and puff”( as she once put it…) she ALWAYS had bright lipstick on and she was very friendly but my son – he called her -goonda. He did respectfully add an aunty after that! I asked him why and he said “gooda bulaya”. Apparently she used to call him goonda and he was just returning the compliment!

After a few random hellos, and the odd thought of her popping in my head while I was watching Taare Zameen Par and bawling (Tisca Chopra does remind me of her!) - I discovered she was a blogger, (yeah, lived in the same building and became friends because of the blog!), a journalist, a freelance writer, a director in her own company and she had never lost her fabulous sense of humor even in the face of adversity. What impressed me most though was she along with millions of people watched the horror that was 26/11 and actually did something about it- She started India Helps. She wears her many hats with élan and now she’s adding another feather in her cap- a Novelist! Kiran Manral, take a bow!!! In my house, she will always be called Goonda Aunty. And here is how she got around to writing her book!

http://thirtysixandcounting.wordpress.com/2010/10/29/once-upon-a-time/

I got my copy of The Reluctant Detective, a couple of days ago and while l would love to read the book in one sitting my two imps have other ideas! When I read a book I disappear into a different world and with this book- Kanan Mehra and Kiran Manral seemed like the same person to me… I could so imagine her going through her cupboard (color coded, mind you!) and telling her spouse that she had nothing to wear and him grunting from behind the stocks section of the newspaper, or Krish lying on the bed with beyblades and action figures watching his mother stare at the clothes in her cupboard while mentally discarding them one by one! And yes, it’s a pretty real suburban housewife unlike the regressive “ jill jill ramamani” characters on TV.

All ye good people… you should definitely check this one out!!!

Kay aka Kanan Mehra is a thirty something suburban housewife and a young mother with a penchant for sticking her curious nose into things she definitely absolutely and certainly shouldn't go near. When a couple of corpses turn up in her neighborhood, she teams up with her detective friend Runa, in a half-hearted attempt to find the murderers only to suspect that perhaps the detective business doesn't quite become her. A hilarious account of how not to get involved in other peoples murders, The Reluctant Detective is every school gate mom, searching for a purpose to her life beyond kitty lunches, shopping and fish pedicures.

Books are available at flipkart , infibeam, indiaplaza and crossword. Those who live outside India, please check amazon.com.

Noticed how....

2011-12-07T17:33:00.000+05:30

..... politicians say something every day to top their dumb sound bites from an earlier time. Case in point Mr. Sibal and his attempt to monitor social networking sites.

...... that some cleric somewhere will say something that will not make sense at all.. first it was a cleric who propogated adult breast feeding and then there is this guy who sounds insane when he said women should not touch bananas and cucumbers.

....there's always one song that rocks the charts that has nothing to do with outstanding lyrics... just the music. My kids love this song. Its lunatic, has rubbish lyrics, but is brilliant and catchy. And if you're a tamilian, chances of you loving this one are much higher.

....A R Rahman always comes back stronger. For all his duds in the last year, he really rocked Rockstar.

....the markets swing back a few 100 points higher a day after the experts predict doom! Ofcourse it tends to go the other way too!

...murphy's law is superactive in the realm of motherhood! The buttered side will always fall down, when you're in a hurry to leave is when the kid will insist on doing his potty, the night you plan a romantic dinner with the spouse is when they will refuse to sleep, the time you want to run errands is when the kids will absolutely refuse to sit still and the day you have a migraine is super tantrum day ... Sigh!

....its impossible to give one kid a time out without the other being very upset with me for the same. It doesn't matter that my son got the timeout for throwing my daughter's toys or pushing her.. she'll give him company in the corner!

Lighting up my life- Diwali

2011-11-01T13:18:00.001+05:30

There's something really fabulous about Diwali. I absolutely love the festival season which for me begins with Onam, Dusshera, Diwali and Karthigai Deepam.

As a child, Diwali meant only the bursting of crackers. We didn't celebrate diwali any other way. As a malayalee brahmin the only two big festivals were onam and vishu which were super grand. Diwali was not on the radar. Growing up in Madras , where diwali is big, you tend to start celebrating it in your own way. My best friend's grandma- ammama making absolutely delicious savouries and sweets, the acrid smell of the crackers which neighbours started bursting weeks before, going to the standard firecracker stalls to buy the crackers, arguing with achan about the ones we wanted and then bursting them at home...Somewhere along the way, I stopped bursting crackers and celebrating it... it just became another holiday... an excuse to shop, a day to read, binge on mithai, play cards at home and generally relax.

Post marriage, we lived in Bombay -the celebrations started again. Diwali cleaning began a month prior. Immediately after Dusshera. The Jains celebrate diwali because Lord Mahavir attained Nirvana that day.So there was Mahavir Bhagwan puja, Lakshmi puja, distribution of sweets, celebrating with friends... and last diwali the man played teen patti with poker chips! :) Normally, lights would go up before Dusshera and would be taken down only post diwali. This year thought we took off on our annual vacation around that time.. so lights went up only on Diwali Day. It was only after the lights went up that it even felt like Diwali.
It was a green Diwali- No fireworks. I must say the number of people bursting crackers seems to have gone down drastically- not that it would prevent the festive spirit in any way.

Anyway Diwali and Vishu seem to have become days of gratitude for me than anything else. For a year gone past, for my blessings, for my blessing in disguise(which sometimes take way longer to unmask), for my two lil miracles, my family, friends and the immense amount of love in my life.

A few scenes from Diwali at home

Well, I got them dressed and headed for a bath. Came out to find that they had dunked each other with a mug of water and were all drenched!

My Ganesh, Lakshmi, Saraswati Lamp

Lamps and a traditional urli with a silver lamp near the door.

A Ganesha lamp

Getting all set for the puja. Now in fresh clothes.

Fairy lights in the balcony

A diya in every room

Getting the puja started

A havan for the cleansing of energies.

How was your Diwali? Hope you had a fab one! Wishing all you people a fabulous and prosperous year ahead!!!

Happiness

2011-09-22T14:57:00.000+05:30

I was mulling about going back to work. Someone asked me the other day to figure out what I really wanted from life... what i want to do with it...where i want to go, what i want to be... and to do whatever i do for the right reasons.

I thought about it and all I really want from life is to be happy. When I pray I don't ask for things- I say let me be happy. Truly happy!

My thought for the Day

2011-09-15T09:45:00.000+05:30

I'm going to put this in my house!

2011-08-03T23:14:00.000+05:30

Found this on pinterest and loved it!!! :)

I so know what he means.

2011-07-24T02:00:00.001+05:30

I'm like that too!

Music and gypsy feet....

2011-07-24T01:45:00.004+05:30

A few years back when I was going through a rough patch, I sat listening to this song...

God, I wanted to chuck everything and just travel. I didn't want to stay in a place for more than a month. I wanted to meet new people, see new places , try new things.I had this master plan in my head and ofcourse not completely sure how i would achieve it either. I freaked my mom out when I discussed it with her. So my mom, being the wise woman she is, told me to make that same plan when I was in a happy place saying that it was the only way I would enjoy my journey. Otherwise it would just mean that I was running away from my problems. I slept on that lil piece of adviceand then took an impulsive decision to just move cities. So I moved to Mumbai. Took a break for a couple of months.. pigged out, partied, made new friends... cut out a whole lot of baggage from my life.. reconnected with the love of my life.. opened up old wounds.. fought , loved, got married... had the most awesome kids in the world.. and did things i swore I'd never do!

Now on a random Saturday night, while the whole world seems asleep, I'm listening to a bunch of what I call the travel songs... I wonder about the road not taken. Life would have been different. I would have travelled, seen the world, been that maverick gene that my family would have wondered about. But my mom knew me well. Knew me well enough to know that while I wanted to travel, putting down roots was also important.I remember my cousin once told my mom that he didn't ever see me give up my career for kids... (i also remember agreeing with him) and my mom told him that if he thought that then he didn't know me. I'm glad she knew me really well.. I cannot imagine not having my imp and mishti..I cannot imagine not driving pyare round the bend.. I know there are a few things I would have done differently.. (not regret.. just wiser now)but most things I wouldn't change.John Lennon said " Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. Its true!

Pyare and I agree on the whole travel broadening horizons concept. And I know its one of the things we want our kids to do.We've slowly started... and I'm looking forward to the trips of my life!

So do you have a list of travel songs?Mine is a rather eclectic collection with no particular Genre.. Here are a few in my list...

I love Paris- Frank Sinatra. I'm a huge Sinatra fan. I remember humming this while I walked through the Latin Quarters in Paris

If you're going to San Fransisco- Scott McKenzie

New York New York- Frank Sinatra

James Taylor- Carolina In my mind

Time to move on- Tom Petty

Take me home Country Roads: John Denver

U2 - Where the streets have no name

Lynryd Skynyrd- Free Bird

The long and winding road: The Beatles

Lynryd Skynyrd- Sweet home Alabama

Johnny Cash- I've been everwhere

Like a rolling stone- bob dylan

Beautiful Day- U2. There's just something about this song.

And old Hindi hit from CID

and most recently this ode to Delhi.

Something I relate to.

2011-07-15T17:44:00.000+05:30

Esp for my lil imp and Mishti

With all my love,

Amma

A Mother's prayer

2011-07-13T12:00:00.002+05:30

Tadaaaaaa!

2011-07-12T13:57:00.003+05:30

And I'm back! When I look at my blog I think there are more breaks than posts! :)

Sooo much has happened in the last year-

My lil girl turned one and my imp turned three.

We moved cities... and I'm loving it!

I am a year older and still 24 in my head! :)

I still hate housework with a vengeance but nothing can make me regret taking that career break!

I always loved cooking, now I realise I love baking too.

I tolerate fools a lot less. I have lesser tolerance for false friendships.

I respect money a lot more than I used to.

I'm learning the art of small talk. Its really hard to keep an "I'm interested" look on my face when I really don't give a rat's ass!

With two kids under four, tantrums are the order of the day. Guess what?!!! I can deal with them anywhere!

Keeping my short fuse in check, however, is a lesson in progress.

I stopped equating sleep with an even temper.

I'm still impatient as hell... yes.. two kids later that's still not changed.

I cuss a lot less.

I always knew I had an absolutely rocking mom. Today, she's beginning to take the form of a goddess in my head!

My son and I were introduced to track mania by my honorable brother. And now we're addicted together.

I was super kicked when I realised that both my kids absolutely love music and can carry a tune ;)

My babies started school and the house is extremely quiet for two hours during the day.

I realised that what I paid for my entire education (post graduate degrees included) will be spent by the time both my kids finish kindergarten. So all those financial planning ads you see- believe it!

Ruth Graham was once asked whether she contemplated divorce. "Divorce, No. Murder? Yes!" I so totally get that statement! :) Its amazing how someone you love so much can drive you right round the bend. According to him though- I was already there... Must've been.. married him didn't I? ;D

I've realised that in parenting while some basic stuff remain the same, my kids need to be handled completely different. My son's the sensitive one and my daughter is feisty.

I still have days where I wonder whether I had some illegal substance by mistake when I decided to have kids.

They say when you become a mother you life is not yours anymore- whose is it if not yours... my family is my life... and big part of it actually. And then there are things I do for myself. A part of my life I will live only for myself. There I said it without being guilty. Letting go of that guilt was my biggest lesson over the last year and a half. It's taken me almost four years of motherhood and two kids to get there!

My life seems to be a roller coaster ride at times but everyday I wake up and feel immensely grateful for the crazy people sharing that ride who make it so much more fun.. and so much more worth it!

Khalil Gibran on marriage

2010-09-14T01:44:00.001+05:30

I read Khalil Gibran's " The Prophet" years ago and I simply loved the philosophical essays for their sheer wisdom put in such simple prose. I read this again today. And it never fails to move me. The wealth of wisdom in these lines. The advice is pretty solid. Sometimes it doesn't matter what the issue is, look at these lines and you'll find one that gives you an answer.

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Tribute to my dad-

2010-06-18T22:22:00.003+05:30

Blogadda is holding a " Tribute to my dad" competition in association with Pringoo.

I wrote this for my dad last year on his birthday and he absolutely loved it. I don't think I can write it any better.

So I am submitting this for a tribute to my dad.

Look Ma, I'm standing!!!!

2010-06-18T10:00:00.008+05:30

It seems it was just yesterday that I held my lil girl in my arms for the first time.

It seems it was just yesterday that I was all excited because you gripped my finger

It seems it was just yesterday that I realised that the color of your eyes was a leafy green

It seems it was just yesterday that I felt my heart burst when I saw how protective of you your brother was.

It seems it was just yesterday that you smiled for the first time

It seems it was just yesterday that you were this really small thin baby..

And then 8 months just flew by...

you grew into this chubby lil thing...

today you're attempting to walk...

You're standing with support.

You're sitting without support.

Your eye colour has changed to hazel.

Though your vocabulary has three words- amma, papa, Ya( for bhaiya).. but you have absolutely no problem expressing yourself

You have a pair of lungs that leaves us in no doubt of what you are feeling

You are extremely competitive.

You love food.

You love oil massages.

You love the rains.

Nobody can make you laugh like your brother does...

And so far its been an awesome trip...

Yes, I don't deny that its been tough sometimes with you and the imp just 21 months apart.

But I wouldn't change a thing.

You've changed our lives...

You've increased the excitement...

You've brought so much of joy.

I love you so much, Mishti.

Love loads

Amma

A corner of Mumbai- during the monsoons

2010-06-17T00:34:00.003+05:30

Everytime I have to go to Powai, I always take the Aarey Milk Colony route. Esp during the monsoons. Here's why:

The invitation.

2010-06-14T15:07:00.002+05:30

I came across this on the net yesterday. A beautiful piece of writing.

An Indian Elder speaks:

Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder, May 1994

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure

of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened

by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own without moving to hide it, or fade

it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and

let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful,

be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the

accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can

source your life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the

bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if

you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty

moments.

Birthday Girl!

2010-06-06T13:06:00.005+05:30

I wish you more color to fill your life...

I wish you the silence to hear your thoughts,

I wish you more friends and adventure

I wish you moments of pure pleasure

I wish you more hot men

I wish you lots of chocolates and eye candy

I wish you those seconds that take your breath away

I wish you great trips of imagination

I wish you great trips. Period

I wish you more fun

I wish you more drama

I wish you lots of hard cash :)

I wish you all those little things that really make you happy

And most of all- I wish you the most wonderful year ahead!

Happy Birthday Mayuri!!!! Rock On!

TAG!!!!!

2010-05-29T21:16:00.008+05:30

Kiran tagged me... sometime in Jan.. and as usual I'm super late with this one!

Tell your readers 10 things about you that they may or may not know, but are true..

Tag 10 people with the award, and be sure to let them know they’ve been tagged (a quick comment on their blog will do).

Link back to the blogger who tagged you.

OK so here are 10 things you may not have know about me:

1. I can't make small talk to save my life...and I was in sales!

2. I believe in energy healing.. i believe your thoughts make you and sometimes i have a super hard time not being bitchy!

3. Though sometimes i wonder if i would have signed up for motherhood if I had known how tough it could be- I still am an enamoured mother... big time!Someone who said motherhood was watching your heart walk outside of your body for the rest of your life, knew what she was talking about!

4. I have a sweet tooth that shows up on my figure...

5. I love cooking. Its the cleaning up afterwards that doesn't appeal to me.

6. I read pretty much everything. I may give up eating but i can't give up reading.

7. I read Calvin and Hobbes when I'm low. It cheers me up immensely.

8. I absolutely hate going to the dentist.

9. Warren Buffet is my guru!

10. I have an on and off relationship with religion, but my faith in God is intact.

One of the nicest thing about motherhood....

2010-05-17T23:34:00.005+05:30

Is watching the angelic faces of my babies when they sleep with my heart bursting with love.... and savoring the quiet.

And then as the moment slowly passes as I trudge my way to clear up my hurricane hit house!

For my man

2010-05-13T13:35:00.003+05:30

This was something i read in a book that struck a chord-

" There are millions of people in the world and the spirits will see that most of them you never have to meet. But there are one or two that you are tied to, and the spirits will cross you back and forth, threading so many knots, until they catch and you finally get it right"

Sounds so like us..

I'm glad we got it right...

Love loads

Lookin'....

2010-05-13T00:07:00.003+05:30

Looking at the family...

looking at the husband..

looking at the kids...

looking at the friends circle...

looking at acquaintances...

looking at random strangers...

looking at the past....

looking at an uncertain future

................................................

all because looking within is still the toughest thing ever!

Trust

2010-05-11T08:51:00.003+05:30

its that little protective glass bubble once broken.. exposes a relationship to the elements.

Mother's day!

2010-05-10T10:20:00.002+05:30

They say that the soul chooses its parents! I am congratulating myself on a choice well made.

Happy mother's day, Ma!

A day late i know!

Oh btw.. am also thinking my kids have awesome taste ;)

Mishti

2009-12-04T14:45:00.011+05:30

Before you...

...Pappa's protective streak never saw such highs...

...The normally chilled out lil imp was never this excited or affectionate. Nor was he this possessive of another.

I see your pappa fall a little more in love with you everyday. I see him sit in awe of your beauty. I see him enthralled with the color of your eyes. I see him making a thousand promises in his head. I see him making bigger plans and thinking bigger.

I see the little boy whose first reaction to you was to say” babyyyyyy” and give you a kiss... possessive and impatient to play with you. I see him pat your chest lightly in an effort to calm you down when you cry. I see him watch everyone who touches or handles you with hawk eyes.

Its amazing to see how a tiny baby can reduce a grown man to mush or turn a 2 year old boy into a little man!

As for me , I've never felt this content. That warm fuzzy feeling that my world is complete....

You bring that amazing amount of... well an indescribable feeling... that only a little girl can!!

Welcome to the crazy family , Mishti!!!

talk about overdue

2009-12-04T14:39:00.003+05:30

am posting almost after two months.. a whole bunch of posts in my drafts that are seeing the light only now!! :)

Had an eventful two months-the arrival of a daughter end September, a birthday and then my son turning two and starting preschool!

I'm cranky, busy and tired! My house is in a mess.. i'm in dire need of sleep...

And I couldn't be happier!!!

Peace be with you, wherever you are!

2009-10-11T14:14:00.005+05:30

She lived a tough life and yet remained simple,

She brought up eight children, and yet remained young at heart,

She struggled to make sure that they managed with atleast one square meal a day.

She valued education and made sure that atleast one of her children completed his education even at the cost of cutting down on food portions for a family of ten or just going hungry. ( He paid her back by making sure none of them had to go hungry ever again!)

She didn't believe in rituals which was strange for someone from a conservative malayalee brahmin background. She preferred the ghee for cooking than the havans.

She once told me that financial independence for a woman was extremely important- even though she came from a conservative background where women were antarjanams and even the thought of a working woman was frowned upon.

She told me (every time I visited her) that no matter what I should always have my own identity and financial independence so I could take on life no matter what it dished out.

She was most upset when my mom gave up her career. She remained pissed with my dad for a while! And very disappointed when I took a career break for my kids.

She was a little of everything- a complete woman- and she didn't pretend to be otherwise.

She lived a full tough life and never let it break her.

She was my grandmom.

I lost her last week. A week after my daughter was born.

Muthashi, wherever you are, I hope you are happy and at peace.

Shoppin'... and Husbands!

2009-08-26T09:01:00.002+05:30

This had me in splits!!!

tagged!

2009-08-24T16:01:00.006+05:30

Quicksilver tagged me. Here goes!

1.What is your current obsession?
To deliver the expected bundle of joy in two months with no complications and ofcourse keep my sanity in the process.

2. What is your weirdest obsession?

My inability to go to a bookstore and come out without buying a book

3.What are you wearing today?

A grin!

4. What are you listening to right now?
the sound of the fan. It needs oiling

5. What’s for dinner?
haven’t decided.

6. What’s the last thing you bought?
Curtains

7. Which language do you want to learn?
Spanish.

8. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Mumbai - so i can buy other stuff with the house fund

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Leh

10. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
pay off my credit card bill J

11. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
a wardrobe full of cotton outfits, fresh fragrances , sunglasses

12. What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?

A sexy black top.

13. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?
i make it a point that the husband knows and then take half hour to decide what to wear

14. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Wearing clothes that one is clearly not comfortable in

15. Give us three styling tips that always work for you.
Confidence, a Smile and clean hair. The rest of it depend on these three.

16. What’s your favorite quote?
This one keeps changing. Currently given my foot in mouth disease- If you have something to say , raise your hand and place it over your mouth. J

17. Describe your personal style.
Understated.Moody

18. Who do you want to meet right now?
Obama

19. What is your favorite color?
Red

20. What is your dream job?

Travel writer – one who gets paid a bomb or best selling author

21. What’s your favorite magazine?
Don’t have one

22. Which TV character can you simply not tolerate?
The characters in balika vadhu.

23. Who are your style icons?
None.

24. What are you going to do after this?

Make a cup of tea

25. What are your favorite movies?
Don’t have a favorite. Its very very hard to pick just one

26. What inspires you?
love, music, my son and life...

27. Coffee or tea?
Coffee

28. Pet peeve?
BO

29. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
I absolutely love her sense of humor and zest for life!

I tag couch potato, merril and malini to take it on!

p.s. the couch potato is goin' to think "wtf??!!" but it'll be good to know what you think about a full wardrobe!!

According to me...

2009-08-09T14:01:00.002+05:30

... a girl can never have too many friends, shoes, clothes, handbags, knick knacks around the house, too much jewellery etc. except maybe a husband. One is too many. :)

And We're back!!

2009-07-08T16:56:00.003+05:30

What do you get when you combine a complicated early pregnancy, bed rest and laziness?- A blog with no posts for over three months and a lazy blogger waiting for the literary mojo to be back!!

The good news is that I AM BACK! Almost into my third trimester,complications that have done a good job disappearing and a head full of thoughts screaming to be written down.

Today is a new day. A fresh start. In more ways than one!

Sometimes....

2009-03-30T09:07:00.000+05:30

...the hardest thing is living with yourself.

25 random things about yours truly!

2009-03-19T12:37:00.004+05:30

Mayuri, Ankita and Rukmani tagged me on this one:

25 random things- See me through my eyes!

I’m the last person you should ask for directions. And if I do give you directions follow the direction of my hand. I might say left but point right.
I always pick up the tune of a song first and lyrics later. Unfortunately that results in me learning my husband’s parodies of the song faster than the original lyrics. So if I sing singh is king, singh is queen and you are beechwala- don’t be surprised.
I don’t like apartments. You can show me a real swanky one with the works and a view and I will still choose to have a house with original antique furniture, with lots of trees and a garden which is a riot of colour.
I collect knick knacks. I believe they add character to a house and give it a lived in look. Clean lines are not for me
I’m a chocoholic.
I sleep with a pillow over my head.
I love the hoopla surrounding festivals. I love how it brings people together. And I love how people think that God’s deaf and play music/bhajans sending noise pollution levels through the roof.
I get depressed before and after my birthday. But on the day I have a really fab time.
I love presents.
I can adjust to a lot of things but I am a super fussy eater. If I don’t like it I won’t eat it. And if you brew my coffee wrong- I probably will never forgive you.
I’m having more fun not knowing what to do in life. I believe you explore a lot more.
I procrastinate and yet get things done last minute with my hubby close to an anxiety attack.
I like watching people. Chances are that I might make you uncomfortable because I stopped watching you after 5 secs and my mind has gone of on a trip of its own while my eyes are still on you in a weird stare.
I’m a bookaholic. I don’t think I have ever gone to a bookstore and come out without buying a book. If I have its because the husband dragged me out of the store.
I don’t like lending my books and this irritates the crap out of my husband.
I hate spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. Chances are I would have corrected you even before I realized it if in a conversation you said “ I didn’t knew” or “ it’s more better this way”
I open my mouth to change my feet. I don’t think before I talk and it gets me into more trouble than I care for. Thinking before I speak is stressful.
I was AWOL when God handed out patience to the rest of the world.
I spend more time deciding what to wear that actually getting dressed. Once that's done, I'm ready in less than 10 minutes.
If you speak well and have dry wit, your attractiveness quotient has just gone through the roof.
I think I end up of doing a lot of things because I get bored easily.
I’m a hard core Amitabh Bachchan fan so much so that I can see a scene or hear a dialogue and tell you which movie it is. Its kind of gotten sharper with my maru hubby.
I have to read the morning paper.
I’m not a gizmo freak. Gadgets make my life easier and that’s where my interest in them stops.
I’m a hard core romantic.

of handicaps

2009-02-27T08:48:00.001+05:30

I used to be horizontally challenged. Post pregnancy I have successfully overcome that. Some handicaps are worth preserving, don't you think?

Crazy man celebrates another b'day!

2009-02-12T00:33:00.006+05:30

For the man whose big hands held my tiny little ones,

For the man who insisted that I be given ice cream when I was just a month old( yeah that's right- you are responsible for my addiction!!!)

For the man who taught me math with marbles.

For the man who bought me more books than I could count even though he didn't have a reading habit...

For the man who went down on his knees to be my elephant, the lion.. and whatever animal caught my fancy

For the man who told me the story of "the hen who made the payasam " a zillion times and now insists on telling the same bedtime story to my son

For the man who looked adorable in three little ponytails when I felt like playing house

For the man who felt super proud of me when I was little and super confused as I grew up and stood by me anyway

For the man who worked his backside off to make sure I had the very best in life

For the man who demanded nothing but the best for me and from me...

For the man I must've have slightly disappointed and terribly confused with my rebellious ways

For the man who always believed that I am the best but am too lazy for my own good

For the man who I looked up to in my most angst ridden years and whose advice I wish I had followed

For the man who makes the best sambar and parippu pradaman in the world

For the man whom I've talked to about boy friends...

For the man who told me very categorically how to escape if someone ever tried to molest me

For the man I've sometimes understood but always loved

For the man who introduced me to his friends as " my little girl"

Happy b'day pa! Have a fab year ahead! Love ya loads!!!

Move over Taliban- Here comes the New India

2009-01-29T23:48:00.003+05:30

I'm too mad to write .Check out the Karnataka CM's reaction

Quirky put it beautifully here. and I wholeheartedly agree!

This is a rant

2009-01-27T21:04:00.003+05:30

I'm feeling violent. Guess why? I just saw this interview. Shri Ram sena chief apologises.

This guy calls himself a brahman and he obviously has no clue what a brahman is! Just because you are born one Mr. Muthalik you don't automatically become one. Being a brahman has a lot to do with your actions than your caste. Suggest you read The Bhagavad Gita.

You are opposed to girls being misused- what the heck do you think your men were doing there?

There were extortion calls from your group and because the pub refused to pay up you go on a moral policing trip.

Somebody please shoot this guy.

Who the heck do they think they are?

2009-01-27T13:53:00.005+05:30

These people who pass judgement?

They have a problem with what I do

They have a problem with what I wear.

They have a problem with whom I meet and where I meet them.

They have a problem if I want to wear something sensous

They have a problem if I have a good time dancing

They have a problem if I hug someone to show my love

They have a problem if I am friends with people of different faiths

They have a problem if I am not from their state

They have a problem if I speak in Hindi or Tamil or Malayalam

They have a problem if I call Mumbai - Bombay or Dilli Delhi or Chennai- madras. ( I will call chennai, madras. Do what you have to)

They have a problem if i defy them by just existing or living my life.

They guise it by calling it anti Indian culture.

But when you really look at it- the real problem isn't me. Its THEM.

They have minds that are so narrow that microbes can't pass through.

They have minds that are easily brainwashed simply because they aren't capable of thinking for themselves.

They have self esteem problems that they have to make someone small to make themselves feel big.

They have egos that don't allow them to see how easily they are being manipulated.

They haven't a clue of what the indian culture is all about

They actually think that Ram or Allah or Chirst will condone what they do.

They have issues and problems and they remove their frustrations by beating up people who seem happy.

They are the cowards who raise their hand on women

They think that they are smart by spreading the politics of manipulation, force, communalism and regionalism to cover up their own inefficiencies.

They think they are powerful becasue of their politics of hate.

Where do these inefficient, incompetent bumbling violent, brainless, sons of bitches get off thinking that beating people up is a solution to all their problems? Where are the elite voices speaking up against all of this? Today its some little pub in Mangalore- tomorrow it could be your sons and daughters in some South Bomaby club. Or are you waiting till another 26/11 happens before you express any form of outrage? Compatriots all of them- Shive sena, the Ram sena, the taliban...each trying to lead by example. Speak up Mangalore. Yell your frustrations out. Fight for your rights and hold your politicians accountable. Make them pay. Its election time. You are stronger than before.

Do something about it. Its high time!!!

:)

2009-01-27T13:45:00.001+05:30

I feel lucky and blessed today!

Is that the right word?

2009-01-23T16:07:00.004+05:30

Yesterday all the news channels went berserk with Slumdog Millionaire getting 10 Oscar nominations. I was watching Times Now and they were showing an exclusive interview with A R Rahman. CNN-IBN announced that Rahman was speaking exclusively to them. Is it just me or does the word exclusive actually mean something else?

Going Places

2009-01-22T15:34:00.009+05:30

Pyareji

Everyday I chill out.

I have tons of housework ofcourse, but I get to do whatever I want to do( around the imp's schedule ofcourse).

I read the most of the books before you do while you try to find the time to do some reading.

I get to see most of the imp's actions first.

I get to hear most of his baby words first.

I got to see him crawl , walk for the first time while you just had to make do with pictures and videos of 'the moment'

I get to spend so much time with him that I do treasure the peace and quiet when he goes to sleep:)

I get to shop to my heart's content - budget constraints and all (or even you looking over my shoulder and saying chalo.. bahut time ho gaya hain. Bore ho gaya.. or I hate shopping re and coming anyway)

I got the time to figure out what I really want to do in life and perhaps try a ton of new stuff.

I get to talk to the family aaraam se while they tell how difficult it is to get through to you.

I got to take a break from work and not worry about anything else

I get to give shape to my dreams, do the stuff I treasure while getting all the encouragement I need.

From you.

I'm able to relax and do all this , take a break from work and not worry about anything because of you. You brave the corporate politics. You miss out on moments. You don't get to spend as much time as you want with us. You sacrifice precious sleep time for more precious time with your son. You work hard to achieve a lot- for us. ( The fact that you love your job is a super plus!!) And ofcourse listen to the occasional crib of what a workoholic you are while you juggle your time. We get to do so much more because we know you're behind us, working your butt off to make sure we get whatever we want.

We know that a razor sharp mind and brains are at work to make sure we're okay.

So baby, we just want you to know that we're super proud of you.

Congratulations on a well deserved promotion Vice President saab!! ;)

Love loads,

To the man who believed- Cheers!

2009-01-22T01:19:00.005+05:30

I look at you and wonder if you really are all that you seem to be.

And that's just because I don't generally trust people like you..

and yet the future will tell how different you really are...

The future might just prove my gut right.

I watch you as you walk talking politely to a man who you probably don't think much of

and remember the year gone past...

I listened to you talk...

There's clarity( you enunciate- something I appreciate)

there's conviction

I feel like trusting you

I want to just hear what you have to say

I watched you weave dreams,

And yet you called a spade, a spade.

I watched you and wished there were more like you here...

I watched you smile

and wondered where you got that boundless energy from

Wondered whether that was just burning ambition

I watched you get into your vehicle

and wondered whether you felt as confident as you looked

I watched you walk onto the podium and felt a smile coming to my face

I wondered whether your heart thundered as you walked up the steps to create history

I wondered whether you did really realise the enormity of your inheritance...

And then you fumbled a wee bit.. making you look pretty human.

And then the moment came- Hello, History!

I heard you talk again... (Brilliant words, by the way!)

You spoke of hope. Of change. You spoke sense. (Yes that's a plus given the 8 years past).

As you spoke a lot of people got all teary eyed. Hope- well, its been a long time coming!

I sit in a different country and watch you become the most powerful man in the world. Whether history will be kind to you will depend on the next four years. You have an enormous burden on your shoulders- a foreign policy gone to the dogs, an economy in shambles and general chaos in the wolrd teetering on the brink of a world war.

Here's wishing you all the best . May you succeed in all that you promised to do. May you keep creating history. Here's raising a toast to the first African American President of the United States Of America- Mr. Barack Hussein Obama- Salut!!

CC2C

2009-01-20T21:45:00.005+05:30

I saw Chandni Chowk to China despite the bad reivews.

Here's my three sentence review

Take gun.

Shoot brains out.

NO, it'll torture you even in death!

They made a bad kichidi of all the possible premises in bollywood. And screwed it up so bad! Deepika plays dumb bimbette to the hilt. Akshay kumar is unbearable.

The great wall of China looked real nice in the movie. That's the only positive I could find.

Pyare summed it up when he said- CC2C, Don't c!

Tough times!

2009-01-16T13:12:00.003+05:30

Being a mom is tough... How would your ever talk sternly to your kid when he does this after after you just discovered he was upto no good!

Better are we?

2009-01-13T22:25:00.003+05:30

Are we really better than the worst thing that we have ever done? Mrs. Karkare believes this.

The hubby and I were discussing this with respect to the Sanjay Dutt case where he said he was all contrite and had mend his ways. Does that mean he shouldn't be punished? He should have been years ago. What about now?

Is it the duty of the law and all that come under it to actually reform people?

If yes- If Ajmal Kasab is repentant, would you spare him the worst punishment he could get for what he did?

These questions lead to heated arguments at home. Pyare's idea of the worst thing and mine differ. I do believe that we are better than the worst thing we have ever done. I endorse this view But I don't believe that remorse means that you don't do time for your crime.

Repent all you want in a jail cell. I'm not God and I'm sure as hell not particularly forgiving when it comes to terror. And I sure as hell wouldn't be so understanding if I had lost someone I loved.

Mrs. Karkare on the other hand is something else- she found it in her heart to forgive the man who gunned down her husband. I don't know if I will ever be able to do that.

I just love this one!!

2009-01-13T22:19:00.002+05:30

Fly You Fools - Indian Comics about Life.

What really lies behind that Smile?

2009-01-09T16:23:00.005+05:30

What thoughts go through your head?

What's really behind that smile?

Who are you really?

I’m not having an identity crisis. I was cleaning out some files on the laptop when I found a picture from PostSecret.

PostSecret is a brilliant mail art project. And it’s scary. You should see some of the stuff that normal people come up with. The human mind is not comprehensible. PostSecret is an anonymous voyeuristic trip into the minds of so many people. The trip is interesting, scary, funny, honest and mind boggling.

And I’m a huge fan. And here are some artworks with a secret.

What do you do?

2009-01-09T13:23:00.002+05:30

When Life throws you a curve-

do you adjust?

do you stand your ground?

do you become someone you barely recognize?

Or do you actually realise who you truly are?

Instruction Booklet

2009-01-07T00:19:00.002+05:30

My life seems to have come with one little instruction booklet-

It has one page

It says

Be careful with words. Or follow instructions below.

Open mouth
Eat your own words

I swore I would never be a housewife and full time mom- Done eating these words
I swore I would never be financially dependent even for a short while- Well, ate those too.
I swore I would never do the thankless never ending housework- BURP!

Yeah I miss working once in a while. I miss seeing a paycheck every month. I miss the sheer joy of leaving the house everyday. (And I know in the near future I will get back to working- most likely for myself!! J)

But I wake up to a smiling baby doing his best to wake me up at some ungodly hour. I got to see his first steps and hear his first words. I got to have insane conversations with a one year old that nobody would ever understand. I got a ton of precious moments which I'll never trade for anything in this world. I got to watch my fave shows. Catch up on all my reading. I got to convert a two bedroom flat into a home.

I got to be a housewife & a full time mom. It’s tough. It sucks at times. But I love it.

As for eating my own words- Yummy results!

Of New Year Resolutions...

2009-01-04T01:01:00.004+05:30

Well..He's been grinning ever since He heard my New Year Resolutions!! :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR! May you live in interesting times!

A Birthday letter to my son

2008-12-23T14:33:00.016+05:30

My son celebrated his first birthday on the 28th of November in the aftermath of the terror attacks. I was determined that no terrorist is going to stop me from celebrating my son's first birthday. And we did. It’s been a roller coaster of a year. And it’s hard to put every little emotion in a record book- something I didn’t even update on a regular basis. Baby records and tidbits of information don’t reflect everything that we’d like to tell him. So I decided to write a letter to my little marwari seth!

Our darling little imp,

After a complicated pregnancy, you were my reward. I remember being so impatient for you to be born and couldn’t wait to see you. The first time I held you in my arms, I was so overwhelmed at how perfect you were. The best part was while holding you; you opened one eye and looked at me.

We sincerely apologize for our clumsy efforts. I must admit that Pappa was better at carrying you. I was still freaked out to hold you right. You were really tiny. Some things we took time to figure out while some were figured out in a jiffy. Since you didn’t cry much the first 3-4 months, we had to make do with expressions- and learn the difference between “I’m hungry” or “I got colic” or I’ve done the big job”. We did figure out real quick that Pappa’s singing kept you awake and didn’t put you to sleep.

You amazed us. The night we brought you home from the hospital, you curled up on your side with your arm on your face and slept. That is the exact way your Pappa sleeps.

I want to tell you that you loved music. The moment any music was played, you would be all ears. You’d stop doing whatever you were doing and move your hand to the beat. As you grew your taste became more defined. You loved the songs of Rock On. And you loved Maa da laadla from Dostana.

You said your first word when you had just completed three months and then said the second word a good four months later. Your first word was amma. Your first hindi word was Kya?! And you repeated it for everything we said or asked:)

You have such an awesome smile that we figured u for a charmer.I want to tell you that you had an eye for the ladies. You generally took your own time to smile at men. The objects of your affection were the flamenco dancer in a poster, Shireen Bahn and Sushmita Sen. Pappa approved. You would talk to Shireen Bahn and Sush Sen every time they came on TV. As for the flamenco dancer in the poster, you would smile at her every time you were in the room and scream at her partner. You also had very long intense conversation with the tube light, the lamp and the fan.

I love your smile… just the way I loved the various expressions that flitted across your face during our midnight sojourns from 2:00am to 5:00am.

You were impatient. Always in a hurry to do things. You started holding things and walking way before you figured out how to crawl.You ended up falling from the bed a couple of times because you figured how to crawl for the first time on the bed.

You loved water. You could sit in you tub and keep playing for hours if we let you. You even talked to your bathtub.

The pressure cooker whistle and the mixer noise scared you. You didn’t like the whistle sound your rubber duck made either.

You are a total foodie. At your rice ceremony, you ate even the spicy food with a big grin. I don’t think we had dinner without you popping up to check what’s on the menu and then insisting on having some food with us.

You taught us patience something that was abundantly lacking in our lives.

We lost any shred of self consciousness or dignity we possessed running around, making odd noises, odd faces and weird expressions and imitating a sneeze all because it would make you laugh. God, I even breast fed you in a train. (Something I didn’t think I would ever be able to do in public) As far as I was concerned you were more important.

Your Pappa learnt to clean potty without puking even once. (He always thought he would. But somehow with you it was different)

You won’t remember this but there were times when I would be sitting with a glum look on my face or tears in my eyes. You would reach out and touch my face and eyes and then smile. Or you would smile and lift your arms to be picked up. Or sometimes you would just look at my face and reach out and hold my finger. It made me feel so much better. You always did that when I was low. I was going through some post partum depression and in that phase I don’t know whether I was looking after you or it was the other way around.

Over the last year, we went took you everywhere with us. Restaurants, the length and breadth of Kerala, long drives, long walks, the beach, shopping and parties. It was awesome. Now of course, you don’t have any patience to sit in a dark theatre so movies are out. Though we did take you for Dostana since you loved the songs and you spent most part of the time yelling everytime Priyanka Chopra came on the screen.The thing is we don’t really care. We’re having the time of our lives with you.

You've become such a bundle of mischief, its hard to imagine that I worried that you used to be very quiet at one time. I know if the house is quiet for more than 5 mins, you are upto some mischief. You go up on your toes and pull down anything you get in your hands from the table, the bookshelf, well.. basically anywhere.

You've grown so independent now that you insist on eating yourself. This ofcourse involves putting the food first on the floor and spreading it all over the place. You are constantly on the move. And you love all the attention! :) You are so decisive. And stubborn at times. If you decide to do something God help the person who comes in your way! The best part is that you don't do something once I say "NO". For then. Till the next time. :)

You are our stress buster. You’ve ruined us for life. We’ll never be the same. We’ve gotten used to a certain kind of high in life that doesn’t involve chocolate or closing a big sale.

We’d had so much fun with you that we’re all pro-babies. We have a feeling that you’ll be a terrific older brother.

Thank you for teaching us to love so unconditionally. Thank you for the wonder in your eyes. It does remind our cynical sides how great things really are. Your wide eyed wonder does paint our world in a different hue. You’ve enriched our lives in way that you can’t even imagine. Your mischievous smile truly lights up our lives. If we thought we were all grown up and mature before you arrived, needless to say we’ve revised that opinion. We’ve grown up so much more with you.

Someday you’ll grow up. Someday you’ll be faced with tough decisions. Someday you’ll leave this cozy nest that we’ve created. There are two things I’d like to tell you. No matter what you do or where you go, you’ll always have a home to come back to and people who will kick your ass but love you unconditionally. And more importantly- be yourself always. It’s totally worth it.

We love you. You’ll always be our precious little boy.

Pappa and Amma.

Terror

2008-12-23T01:16:00.004+05:30

Who is a terrorist?

1.a person who terrorizes or frightens others
2.a person, usually a member of a group, who uses or advocates terrorism.
Those are two dictionary definitions.

So how come we classify only attacks from outside as acts of terrorism? What about the Hindutva organisations? What about Gujarat mobs? What about Orrisa? What about MNS? SIMI? The Congress party's sikh genocide in 1984?

What are they? Activists? Politicians? Or going by the above definitions- Terrorists?

Looks like we've set a very high benchmark for hypocrisy.

Winning...

2008-12-22T20:59:00.005+05:30

I wonder if they thought they won.
I wonder if they toasted to the success of an operation that killed almost 200 people.
I wonder if they think that God is looking down upon them with a beatific smile.
I wonder if they think that he approves of their idea of Jannat.
I wonder if they realise that you need to be forgiven for the sins you commit against others before you enter heaven.
I wonder if they realise that the people they committed the sin against have to forgive them, not God.
I wonder if the realise that they will never be forgiven.
I wonder if they realise that they make us feel more defiant.
I wonder if they realise that the more defiant we are, the more the desire to really live life
I wonder if they realise that you can keep people down for a day or two, but they are not going to remain continuously depressed , down and out
I wonder if they realise that scary tactics don't necessarily break the spirit
But most of all I wonder if they realise that they are fighting for a lost cause.

When elephants fight....

2008-12-22T20:41:00.006+05:30

When elephants fight, its the grass that gets trampled. And since I am the grass, I don't particularly relish the thought of being at the wrong end of a nuclear bomb, thank you very much! Some elitist airhead spoke about carpet bombing Pakistan! Oh wow! .Is she thinking about leading from the front too?

Imagine if some demented soul thought " Hey, it'll be fun to nuke India."Really? Would it be fun to lose someone you love? would it be fun to live in fear of " what next?" Would it be fun to go to bed wondering whether you will wake up the next day to something more terrible? Do you really believe war is the answer. And if you think the US does, so its ok for India to think so too... Please tell me how many wars have been fought on US soil. One major terror attack and they took an entire country apart. Their soldiers fought. The common man remained far from it all. Just like our Kargil war. Given the power equation in South Asia sometimes I wonder whether World war three will break out here.

I'm all for retaliation. I'm all for sending out a message saying "you play with our citizen's lives and you will pay." But no, I'm not for war! Do you really think the jihadis are all going to come fight along with the Pakistan army? Nope, they've not learnt to fight from the front. Sneaky terror attacks are more their style. It'll be ordinary soldiers from both sides laying down their lives.
No. I don't think war is a good idea. I don't think what US did in the name of eradicating the Al Qaeda and removing Saddam from the face of the planet was right. It was the common man who suffered for decisions made in ivory towes by people who seem to have no clue what they are talking about.

If anything, punish the people responsible. Go the Mossad way. Remember Munich? Take out the ones who did the wrong. Take them out.
Leave the common man alone. He's got enough problems living in a country with poor infrastructure, communalism, regionalism and corrupt leaders. He has enough problems being forced into resilience. He has enough problems just trying to survive. Leave him alone.

Silence

2008-12-22T20:22:00.001+05:30

Silence has its own language. Its own volume. Sometimes, its deafening.

“Sannata sunaiye nahi deta,” sang Farhan Akthar in Rock On. I disagree! I think my silence was heard loud and clear!

It was heard when I didn’t vote. I didn’t particularly find the charm in voting for a “bunch of thieves”. They didn’t live upto my standard of what a leader should be. And I didn’t want to be responsible for putting them in office.

It was heard when I didn’t do anything other than voice the outrage I felt. And that was clearly not enough.

It was heard when I thought “How dare they?” every time there was a problem and then did nothing about it

It was heard when I didn’t voice my outrage over “activism” (a cover word for terrorism within the system)

It was heard when terrorists held my city to ransom and I could do nothing but helplessly watch.

It was heard when I watched the post terror events unfold and kept quiet cynically watching as to how long people will take to forget it all.

It was heard when I wondered if this was all I could do.

But it was heard the loudest when as a citizen of India, I was all about the rights and not much about the responsibilities.

Laugh out loud

2008-11-21T01:16:00.004+05:30

A friend send me this today....and I've been grinning like a Cheshire cat!!

2008-10-20T21:31:00.002+05:30

Mommmyyyyyyyyyyy

2008-10-16T03:37:00.002+05:30

My son's begun walking.. and he's already a handful.. I can see myself like this.. in a few months time!

Taking Charge

2008-10-16T03:24:00.003+05:30

I stopped watching the news a couple of weeks back. I was pretty sick of seeing the crap happening in our country. A woman journalist shot dead. The CM responsible for the law and order in the capital territory says that " She( the journalist) was being too " adventurous". The rape, pillage and plunder in Orissa. The vikings haven't disappeared. In India are just ugly men with small minds. Children being raped. Pedophilia. I just didn't want to have anything to do with it. I didn't want to start my morning knowing Rajaram had shot his entire family because of the Financial system crash. I came to a point where I'd rather just pick up the paper and read just the gossip column on who's doing whom till I was done with the morning chai. Sometime during the day- I’d read the stories on the real world. And wonder where the heck we were heading to.

I remember reading a Martin Niemoller poem. True for me. True for all of you who shut up!

First they came for the Jews

and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the communists
and I did not speak out - because I was not a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me -
and by then there was no one left to speak out for me.

Pastor Martin Niemöller

Quote

2008-10-16T01:36:00.002+05:30

I believe. I relate. I know.

Blessings

2008-10-16T00:43:00.010+05:30

I was down with a bout of food poisoning and feeling all low and sorry for myself. As usual, I called my mom to crib. She told me to shut up, take my meds and take rest and take care. Mom tends to put things in perspective. I was reading an article where Oprah said she kept a grateful journal where she counted five of her blessings everyday. So here are a few of mine.

I'm grateful that I have a husband who irritates the crap out of me, drives me to the edge of murder and sometimes makes me look at singledom with such longing. No, I am not grateful for just that. Some of the nonsense I could do without. I am grateful for the fact that despite all of the above, he's still the guy who makes me laugh, he's the guy I can shoot my mouth off without thinking , he's the guy i can have the best conversations with , he's still the guy who's been my best friend for the last seven years despite the abnormal amount of turbulence in our relationship and lives and he's still the guy I can hug every night and know that I really am a little more in love with him than I was the previous day.(except after a fight- Then I'm just plain mad.)
I'm grateful that despite a premature birth, my little boy who'll turn one next month is in the pink of health. I'm thrilled to have little pudgy arms wrap around my neck, I'm thrilled to see the big grin that gladdens my heart and I'm grateful for a little boy who throws himself on me to show me how much he loves me. For the first time in my life I'm all for a drooly kiss.
I'm grateful that in these troubled times my husband has his job despite working for an American bank. I'm not working currently and it would have been scary if anything untoward had happened.
I'm grateful that I don't have to go to work and I do get a chance to watch my son grow up. I get a chance to catch my fave shows and read all I want. I get to do a lot of the stuff that I never had time for while working.
I'm grateful that my body that was used to a nice 9-10 hour sleep pre-my lil one, has adjusted to 4-5 hour sleep so beautifully that now I find a seven hour uninterrupted sleep excessive.
I'm grateful for the fact that post pregnancy weight gain, I still look good! :) ( Delightfully plump, I must say)
I'm grateful for the fact that I have the most awesome family. None of us have anything in common except for a few inherited eccentricities and the love that binds us. Love that involved murderous looks and threats of dire consequences if we tried to pass off the numerous faux pas and gaffes and trouble creating tendencies as genetic traits.
I'm grateful for the friends who've been there over the years. Some who've gotten me into trouble. Some who've gotten into trouble with me and some who've bailed me out. And some who came for a lil while and then went away but somehow left an indelible print.
I'm grateful for the fact that I have an off and on relationship with religion, but my relationship with God has remained intact.
I'm grateful that with all the crap happening in the world out there and all the drama in my life that I brought one kid into the world. And if that were not enough- having braved the mood swings , complicated pregnancy and post delivery sleepless nights, guilt, mild post partum depression and making all the mistakes I possibly could as a mother- I've actually decided on bringing another one into this world.

I'll hold you forever

2008-10-06T14:04:00.001+05:30

This was taken two days after my son was born. His hand in his father's. Its one of my favorite pictures.

Night time Ritual

2008-10-06T13:15:00.003+05:30

Every time my son is sleepy, he sits on my lap and lays his cheek on my chest. His little hands hold my sleeves tight.. sometimes he stretches and tries to put his arms around my neck. And I hold him tight. I hold him till he falls asleep. I love the feel of his pudgy little arms around my neck.. Someday he'll grow up and I don't know whether he will be the hugging type. But I love it for now.

Life...

2008-10-03T03:18:00.003+05:30

Have you ever done something that went totally against everything you believe in? Have you been able to live with it? Have you forgiven yourself for it? Or did you realize that it was time to change your belief systems? I did. And it’s taken me over a year to realize that with all the color in my life because of my decision – it would be hard just to keep it a stark black and white.

Yaaay!!!

2008-09-26T23:41:00.001+05:30

The weekend is here... my folks are in town and I'm looking forward to some alone time with the hubby. :)

War

2008-09-26T14:31:00.005+05:30

I wish someone had shown this comic strip to George Bush Jr. Perhaps he would have understood it. But then again, chances are that he wouldn't have got it at all!

Pyare

2008-09-26T13:51:00.007+05:30

I've taken to calling the hubby Pyare as in Pyare Mohan Illhabadi, Dharmendra's character from Chupke Chupke. He's forever correcting my hindi... Cribbin' didn't help.. He's Marwari and can speak perfect Hindi most of the time... except since we were best friends I've heard the other version- the one filled with gaalis. I'm a malayalee and I speak good Hindi. I picked up Hindi in Bihar as a kid and tend to use Hum instead of Mai.The correcting has gone up now especially since the chances of my son picking up my Hindi is pretty high. I have to interact with in-laws and my mind just goes blank. Its like I never ever spoke the language. And I have to be careful not to swear while talking to them. My friend S who grew up in Jamshedpur and married a Bhopali faces the same problem. So now I've given up swearing in Hindi. ( Actually i'm trying to.)

When Pyare and I had first become friends, I always spoke to him in English. The first time I spoke to him in Hindi- we were supposed to go somewhere and he said " chal rahi hain kya?" I said" Ofcourse, hum aa rahe hain naa.. and he looked at me and said "u and who else? "

And well... its been 7 years since... and the story's the same.

Heart to heart

2008-09-26T11:07:00.002+05:30

I'm reevaluating my opinion on heart to heart talks. I've realised that some things are better left unsaid, irrespective of how tough it is for me to shut up.

Update and then some and one discovery

2008-09-25T01:19:00.006+05:30

Update: A couple of friends wanted to know how Sarah Palin becoming a VP affected my life. They meant other than the fact that I have an opinion on everything whether it affects me or not. Well.put an ignoramus a " heartbeat away from the Presidency" of perhaps the most powerful nation in the world. And one who's super proud of a failed war. Its a scary thought.
My thought every time I open the newspaper and see stories of violence and war is " What kind of a world is my son going to grow up in? " There are times I feel we are living on the brink of world war three...The world has faced the repercussions of one ignoramus' actions for 8 years. ... do we really need another one? And if you tell me " Hey McCain is the President. The VP does nothing anyway." For me, his choice of Sarah Palin makes his decision making abilities suspect.

Then Some: My friend Merril has a video that goes by THE MERRIL on youtube. Me thinks just the pics don't capture the craziness. Here read the story and check it out.

Discovery: I just discovered that President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad has a blog. I've just started reading it.

Cafe Mysore

2008-09-25T00:41:00.003+05:30

I was deleting stuff from my comp and came across this. This was taken in 2006 during the film festival. We had just gone to see Volver( Which I loved by the way) and then landed at Cafe Mysore in Matunga for dinner. I looked at the menu and thought, " Oh well! There's a good reason to eat here! " For once it didn't have anything to do with food!!!

Hard?! Hell yeah!!!

2008-09-24T20:04:00.004+05:30

I've never been one to try too hard...

Have you noticed
the harder you try the more further the desired end result seems... it even tends to fuck u up along the way.
The tighter you hold, the more further away they go...
The further you go, the simpler it seems,
the closer you come, the true picture reveals itself complicated...
The more you talk, the bigger the issue becomes
the less you talk, the more fucked up it gets
The more fucked up it gets the more sunshine on a rainy day you are outside
and more messed up you are on the inside
The more you try, the less you are yourself...
And I don't think thats worth it.

The Man who just can't shut up!

2008-09-23T09:27:00.005+05:30

I was watching the Emmy awards last night. I love watching these award shows for some real good acceptance speeches that go beyond I thank the world and its dog. I love some of the nonsense the presenters do to. Its election year in the US so I was all ears for the caustic remarks. There were a lot of anti- Palin remarks- most of which I agreed with.

I watched Steve Martin present the commemorative Emmy to Tom Smothers his writing for The Smothers Brothers Show in the 1960s. It was the first I ever heard of the guy. I loved his acceptance speech though. It shows sharp wit, intellect and echoes my thoughts about the current war on terror.

“"Freedom of expression and freedom of speech aren't really important unless they're heard," It's hard for me to stay silent when I keep hearing that peace is only attainable through war. And there's nothing more scary than watching ignorance in action," I dedicate this award to all people who feel compelled to speak out, and are not afraid to speak to power, and won't shut up and refuse to be silenced. Just one last thought, there’s one word that exists in every language on the face of the Earth, in every society from the time man began to speak and the word is “truth”. It exists in every language and it means exactly the same thing . . . . Truth - truth is what you get other people to believe.”

Tina Fey's speech when she won lead actor in a comedy series got a laugh out of me too..."I thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. Well done. That is what all parents should do". She said what I thought was the most anti- Palin remark of the evening."I want to be done playing this lady Nov. 5 so, if anyone can help me be done playing this lady, that would be good for me."

The Emmy awards were nothing to write home about this year. It was kinda boring. The political barbs made it quite interesting though. Along with the fact that most of the women nominated were older women... :)

Well a couple of other gems from Tom Smothers-
“The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.”
“When you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished.”

Very true ... both.

Cleansing Ritual...

2008-09-22T12:17:00.003+05:30

One of the things about becoming a mom is that you tend to cut through the bullshit. Some of which you have actually used to delude yourself too. So I'm in the process of getting a lot of pending stuff done- one of which is purging my system of negative energy. Letting go of resentments like this.

Normally I tend to let people know that they've pissed me off and sometimes I leave them in no doubt of it either. But over the last one year , I exercised extreme restraint( I'm proud of myself).. But I'm me and i can do only so much... And now that I've come real close to exercising four muscles to show them the middle finger, I decided that it was time to have the long overdue talks.
So i started with M. Met her for lunch and gave her a piece of my mind for some past insensitivities. It felt good. She was surprised ( given my tendency to fly off the handle) And our friendship is stronger for it.

So I'm going to be doling out pieces of my mind:) and am going to feel super about it!!!!

What next?

2008-09-20T01:52:00.007+05:30

I was flipping through the channels yesterday afternoon and my maid was cutting some veggies while watching TV. I came across the new channel Colors. Me thinks they didn’t have enough material on the Saas bahu nonsense ( Ekta, you listening?) they actually have a serial called Balika Vadhu. My maid told me that she watches it everyday...Doesn’t miss it for anything in the world and enjoys it. C’mon now!! Child brides? Seriously? In this day and age? Check the way it is packaged though.

http://www.colorstv.in/shows/balika-vadhu.html

WHY IS IT EVEN AIRED? I kinda thought that the world was progressing. Now I’m not too sure. I have the feeling that they might come up with glorifying Sati next.

Abortion- As grey as it comes.

2008-09-20T00:24:00.006+05:30

The whole Sarah Palin issue got me thinking on the anti abortion stance. Why is it an issue?
I guess the whole question is when does life actually begin and who decides when it does.

The Religious Stance:

Read this

I actually like the Muslim view( not the Taliban interpretation of it).
Among Muslims, abortion is acceptable depending on the circumstances around the pregnancy. In the case where the woman's life is threatened by the pregnancy, Muslim jurists agree that abortion is allowed based on the principle that "the greater evil [mother's death] should be warded off by the lesser evil [abortion]."

I like that whole line about the circumstances.

But then religion always tends to confuse the issue depending on who is actually interpreting it. They even have views on birth control and contraceptives... In this day and age when the biggest threat is AIDS, religious leaders need to wake up and smell the coffee. Religious or not, people are going to do what they want to anyway. But the guilt can screw up the religious lot quite a bit.
( like the world needs anymore loonies). And what form of birth control does the church recommend: ABSTINENCE. Oh come on now! Chances are with their idea of birth control the Uh-oh moments are likely to be higher.

The Political Stance:

Oh did u say the issue was of a private nature? The you can be sure that the govt will stick its nose into it. Its a different thing that the country is battling poverty and unemployment... or that the country is on the brink of war because of shitty foreign policies...but on whether you should have a baby or not , they are going to have a say.
There will always be issues of a private nature which the state will decide to poke its nose into. They will tell you that its your right and then censure you for even thinking of going against their stance. That's the status of affairs across the world.

The political debate rages between privacy and whether the government can regulate abortion. Well, they'll give you the privacy as long as they have a say on the issue.
The Ethical Stance:

Now this stance has to do with the following questions: is the foetus human? Does the woman have a right considering its her body? Will the sex determination lead to female foeticide? Would it be ethical to abort post 22 -24 weeks despite the discovery of various disabilities and congenital defects? Should i go ahead with the pregnancy and then give my baby up for adoption?

Mix religion and you will have a whole lot of confused guilty people.

The view in India-
Well , we have rather liberal laws with regard to abortion. Its as democratic as it comes so much so that in states like Harayana there are hardly any girl children. But with the high level of female foeticide it requires tightening in certain areas.

Post the Niketa Mehta case the abortion laws its use and misuse are being reviewed.

My Stance:

I've had a baby last year and I know what a woman feels putting her body through the whole nine months. My pregnancy was a happy one- if u discount the morning sickness that rejected my morning coffee/tea and send my body into withdrawal symptoms or the bed rest that drove me nuts. But yeah, it was a happy one. I wanted to have the baby. But think of a situation where the that it not the case. What if the baby really were the result of just an uh-oh moment and it is actually unwanted? Would you like to bring a baby under those circumstances into the world? Would a woman want to put her body through that if she doesn't want it in the first place? And believe me, if she gives into her cravings getting back to pre-pregnancy weight and shape can be a bitch.
What if its a product of a rape? What if it has congenital defects and the parent doesn't want to go through life watching her little one suffer? ( I feel quite upset when my son has a cold or he has pain because he's teething) I hate to think of actually watching my baby go in an out of hospital all the time. Can u give me a guarantee that the new technological procedures won't hurt my little one? Can u give me an assurance that he will live a happy life?

Personally speaking, I would only consider it if there were medical problems or if it was a product of rape. I seriously believe no uterus, no opinion. Abortion should be a woman's choice.

The lady with a gun

2008-09-18T22:18:00.007+05:30

Is it just me or does Sarah Palin sound very scary? The world will take a long time to recover from two terms of the Dubya dumbo administration's faux pas and gaffes and I just don't mean the fact that Bush jr. can't speak English right. I’m talking about his absolutely fabulous foreign policies that have us tottering on the brink of world war three in a world divided by religion.

In that kind of an environment to have a VP like Sarah Palin, a former beauty queen who basically has no experience and thinks that being an “average hockey mom” (her words not mine) is experience enough to run the United States. “Today, John McCain put the former mayor of a town of 9,000 with zero foreign policy experience a heartbeat away from the presidency,” Bill Burton, an Obama spokesman, said. And, in her one vice-presidential debate, she will face the seasoned foreign policy veteran Joe Biden.

Pat Buchanan, a conservative said: “This is the biggest political gamble I have ever seen. She is enormously exciting but if, God forbid, something happens, can she be president?”

If the republicans win( God forbid) and something happens to McCain while in office and she takes over the reins, its going to be like the coronation of George Bush. (except it'll be just a swearing in with a lot of hoopla like a coronation because she would be the first Woman president of the US.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article4635147.ece

She’s pro gun, anti abortion and is a homophobe and she supports the war in Iraq. ( like most republicans). And then there’s this letter.

http://mudflats.wordpress.com/2008/09/04/a-letter-about-sarah-palin-from-anne-kilkenny. I don’t know who Ann Kilkenny is or if this letter is real. But if it is, people, I suggest you hope like crazy that America sees the change they are hoping for and the democrats win.

English...Write it like you say it!

2008-09-14T12:28:00.005+05:30

Very high chances of this auto guy being a malayalee.

Anyone for italian?

2008-09-14T12:22:00.003+05:30

Anyone for Italian? Check out the menu at Shiv Sagar, Pune.

PMS?!

2008-09-14T02:00:00.006+05:30

Looks like i drove my hubby a lil crazy this week. Guess what i got in the mail.

Letting go...

2008-09-14T01:57:00.002+05:30

I’ve been holding onto them for a long time,

These old resentments.

Letting go would mean a void,

One I wouldn’t know what to fill with.

Letting go would mean a change in perspective,

One that would point a finger at me too.

Letting go would mean freedom

One that I have never experienced.

Letting go would mean leaving behind my ostrich tendencies

One responsibility that would involve taking charge of life

But most of all

Letting go would mean the person in the mirror

Would be the real me...

First love... last love.

2008-08-28T15:42:00.002+05:30

What is it about love

That brings in a different hue?

Not just the passion red and smoky blue...

But where the black and white mesh

Into shades of grey

But I still love him to bits anyway.

The gypsy's just come to town...

2008-08-23T22:16:00.001+05:30

Questioner- Questions can get uncomfortable.

Explorer- Pushing my limits.

Rebel – Coz I just felt like it.

Blunt- Diplomacy was never a strong point.

Troublemaker- Coz of all of the above.

Drama Queen- Drama Drama Drama…

Wild girlfriend- Ask the man

Wilder wife. - Heh heh! Ask the man again…

Crazy Mother- My baby boy is going to grow up thinking dancing crazily around the house with music( in my head or out loud) is normal... ;)

Moody- Yeah well… it’s never just PMS.

Chocoholic- Can’t help it- it suits every mood!

Sane and sensible- well... sometimes...i get by with the method in my madness...

Phoenix- I'll always find a way to return...

Ladies and Gentlemen: (readers- real or not….)

All these personalities make a grand entrance on the blogsphere…

Tannnntaadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang!!!!!

I’m a gypsy- between personalities, between places…. The voices in my head dictate my mood… And those poignant tones and thoughts generally find their way out through words…sometimes written…..

2007-12-13T20:18:00.000+05:30

I stopped writing a few months back. I was 29 and i felt that my mind had completely dried up. Life suddenly had taken quick drastic turns.. and while some enjoyable and some were scary and some extremely confrontational. I don't like it when life makes u face something about u that u don't like. While I'm all for grabbing the bull by its horns and confronting issues... i don't particularly like it if the bull is me...

Passions raged but didn't have an outlet. My mind was overcrowded with random thoughts, opinions, and a lot of general nonsense and deep stuff... and no there was no writing to pour my heart out and scream,kick, yell, smile, laugh and let the world know exactly what i was thinking. And for the first time in my life i found myself keeping my thoughts to myself.

The most rockin' changes were getting married to my best friend,setting up a home, a surprise pregnancy and the most adorable baby boy in the world...

On that note... i start writing again!!!!

Queen of procrastination!!

2007-09-07T19:37:00.000+05:30

Quicksilver tagged me sometime in June... and I was supposed to tag along in 8 hours... So here i am, fashionably late, a couple of months later!! :)So Quicksilver, I acknowledge you the queen of the Universe! :)

1. I procrastinate and I still get stuff done. It's a gift! :)This describes me!

2. I have to read the newspaper end to end in the morning even if it means being late sometimes. I end up mostly having a real crappy day otherwise.

3. I'm quirky. It could be a disease and its hereditary. :)

4. I spend more time deciding what to wear that actually getting dressed. Once that's done, I'm ready in less than 10 minutes.

5. I'm a bookaholic. If i go into a book store, I have to buy a book. Its one place i can spend hours in and never get bored.

6.I wasn't around when God dished out patience to the rest of the world.

7. I prefer the clipped brit accent to the drawlin' american. Hugh grant, daniel craig...colin firth... .....i also love the brit dry wit.

8. I believe that its ok not to know exactly what you want in life. Its a gift in disguise. You explore so much more.

I'm supposed to tag eight people to write 8 random facts about themselves. I'll leave that open to whoever wants to do so.

Enjoy Madi!

What he wants...

2007-09-06T19:20:00.000+05:30

Saw this ad for the next season of Desperate Housewives where Felicity Huffman says, " I want him to have what he wants.. as long as its what I want! " Grin! I Like. :)

2007-04-26T16:22:00.000+05:30

Someone sent these to me today. I love the personal growth bit, men and choc one & whiny bastard one

2007-04-24T18:57:00.000+05:30

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

restless and raving mad!

2007-04-24T17:04:00.000+05:30

Hmmm... the day seems to be getting better! cracked a big deal today! yayy! But the mood ring still says back off. I'm having that restless feeling- Calm on the surface and restless like crazy inside... I've got that restless feeling...and restless feelings are dangerous, exhilarating and prompt stupid and enjoyable behaviour!

Its been there for the past couple of weeks and hate it as I might, i've been letting good sense prevail. Now that bugs me even more esp since I'm the type to look temptation in the eye and give right into it except when my mood swings into the good sensible area which isn't frequented too often. I've got miles to go before I sleep and hence the restless mood enters into otherwise forbidden territory- my sleep! So cranky me would be an understatement! There's so much to be done and so little time. There's a need to let go of a lot of stuff and start afresh on a lot more and turn around and face things long kept on the backburner. I don't like the backburner facing thing. :(

I'm actually feeling a little lost.

I got so much to do, i don't know where to start.

I've got so many great ideas and since i'm lazy right now its getting hard to remember all of them

I feel so restless and feel like my back is against the wall.. and i don't know why....

There's an urge to do something, i don't know what!

There's this huge urge to just hole myself up somewhere and not talk to anyone but I'm not sure I really want that either.. keeping my opinions to myself would just kill me!

I just don't want to feel responsible and sensible and all grownup and i'm doing just that!

Maybe ... like my mom says.. "this too shall pass"! or i just know it.. I'm going to do something utlra crazy!

2007-04-24T13:59:00.000+05:30

bllaaahh!

2007-04-24T13:46:00.000+05:30

Today is a bad day- bad hair day, bad clients day, bad bad boring day. It was something that didn't start out well..a two hour traffic jam that had me pulling my hair out... i'm hoping it ends well! I'm tired of meetings. I'm tired of the human variety. Saw this on the net- described my mood, my hair and my expression!

How Rude!

2007-04-23T14:40:00.000+05:30

Well what's prompting this post a is a high level of irritation with a few people i know and a lot of people i wish i'd never met! Clients, family and friends and brokers!

People in the PMS zone and most of them who pretend to be are beginning to piss me off! What's with throwing temper tantrums in other people's house. Well, don't give me that "hey its not you, its me! I was mad about something else" I don't care and neither do i look like I care! Take your rudeness elsewhere!

Have you even heard of a bai giri? You fire one bai and appoint a new one! The new one is good!The new bai seems to have restored the original color of a lot of things in the house- tiles for example." And then the old one turns up and has the gal to tell you the newly appointed one won't come! nothing subtle about it Just a very normal comment : "no hard feelings. but the new bai won't come! I'll see to it that she doesn't! " how rude is that! Well buzz off bitch! I'm not taking you back even if i have to clean the entire bloody house myself!In my case idiot people piss me off anyway, PMS or not!

And what's with men? Is there any reason you won't look at a person's face while she's having a serious discussion with you about your finances? Hello! There's isn't anything on display there!

Three of my clients today insisted on telling my boobs about their investments! One of them even informed them that he'll be out of town next week Reminds me of a tshirt saying : Talk to my face my boobs can't hear!

And then come the real estate brokers: Finding a house in mumbai introduces you to a shady lot! These guys not only have conversations with your chest but also have the gall to pass shady comments since you are a single gal in the big bad city. Do you know that people in mumbai (otherwise that go by the name housing societies) don't give single people houses? Try looking for houses with a friend of the opposite sex and the comments get shadier.

when you write a mail to someone why is it that they look at only what suits them and not the entire bloody mail even though its 5 lines and to the point?! and then ask you for your comments-

Well.....

Well , I'm PMSng!

2007-04-03T19:20:00.000+05:30

I'm a creative soul. All my bosses except for stoopid have told me that I should be in advertising. :) So why am I in banking? In wealth management in particular. There is I must say a certain charm in watching the money grow even though it ain't really mine. There is more fun beating the market and watching money grow even if the world is in a bear phase. Its fun to structure portfolios, reduce tax( i'm still figuring this one out) ,and increase assets under management. I love this all though I like doing it on my terms ( like everything else in life) not because its the flavour of the month.

But all this comes after the initial big high. The one of cracking big clients. Big deals. And that's where I get creative. Extremely so! :)

We are getting our annual targets today. The boss gave me a few hints on what to expect. So now my soft board carries this calvin strip and a sign that says " Good morning- let the stress begin! Grin!

:)

2007-04-02T14:27:00.000+05:30

For some reason i can so picture my nephew Avinash saying something like this!

2007-03-13T14:30:00.000+05:30

I've been reading Khalil Gibran again. Its quite ironic how a man who could philosophize so beautifully screwed up his life real bad. ( this is where the bard would give the whole practise what you preach) .He speaks about letting go in love coz there isn't any other way to love. But my fave part of the prophet is what he writes about marriage. I think its true for every aspect of life. In every relationship, not just a husband and wife's.

Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

This dude is really profound. I remember reading it out to a guy friend of mine who gave me a look and said why can't he speak in normal english. Life and relationships are complicated as it is!! :)

2007-03-13T13:40:00.000+05:30

Found this on the net... hilarious! horizontal and a whole host of other positions i presume?

2007-03-06T13:17:00.000+05:30

Life is pretty ironic. Sometimes it has black humor written all over it. Its funny and a little sad how some of the most beautiful gals are insecure about their looks or some of the strongest people i know fall for emotional blackmail and how some people who rock in every other aspect of life are extremely insecure in relationships. Why? What is it about love that turns the most sensible person into a bunch of nerves or worse- 'complicated' people? Isn't love supposed to set you free? Well I guess its as they say" If its got tires or testicles, its gonna give you problems"

An impromptu get together at a friend's place ended up as a gals nite out and the discussions ranged from men to politics to TV shows and shopping and bitching about the workplace. Thre's nothing like sitting with a couple of crazy women friends and talking about everything and nothing right from first kisses to gay/ lesbian friends( and ofcourse how they do IT) and current boyfriends with just alcohol missing. The last couple of weeks a lot of my friends have been talking about love, relationships, break ups, lonliness, physical urges etc. The interesting thing to note was that most of these people are brilliant at what they do but when it comes to love, they give the word complicated a whole new meaning. I'm one.. so it may be case of the pot calling the kettle black. I've done more tarot readings on love for friends in the past two weeks than in my entire life. In their search for answers i've seen non- believers ask for energy to be sent and tarot readings to be done.

Off late when things start getting a little tough relationship wise I think of the best relationship advice I got- It was from Amma- my inhouse wise woman, who always told me that " The surest way to keep a man is to go about doing your own thing"

Men- not the idiot ones

2007-02-26T16:27:00.000+05:30

I've seen better months... While this month has been great personally despite some crazy ups and downs- its not been the best professionally. In fact its been worse than shitty... I'm not sure I should let the world know how colorful my vocabulary can get! But the good thing is that I'm surrounded by people who think its quite stupid to feel down and miserable for a woman of my capabilities. Grin! My boyfriend, my friend Paddy and my boss. One of these men always seem to kick my butt when I'm feeling down. They force me to think out of the box. And sometimes by not saying anything, with just a look which makes me feel real guilty that I don't seem to believe in myself the way they do, and I end up putting more pressure on myself to be the best. This is one of those times. I know in March is going to be a much better month. Coz with friends like these and a support system which challenges you to be better than the best, I just can't or won't fail!

2007-02-21T18:25:00.000+05:30

Employees don't leave organisations- they leave bosses. Someone mentioned that to me once and i fully agree.

I've had my first appraisal and I've come back to work with a lot of zest and enthusiasm. My previous organisation saw a gem of a boss leave and be replaced by Stupid. I then had to report to someone whose IQ level was in the negative zone. Eveytime he opened his mouth I had the urge to tell him that I didn't get what he was talking as i didn't specialize in Stupid. His boss was worse. I was accused to being too big for my shoes and thinking BIG. Too bad they were too stupid to realise that they were thinking small. I remember my uncle quoting someone - something about never underestimating the power of stupid people in large groups.

My boss at the new place rocks! He gets business in a very simple way. He gives me the space to work my style, be myself and think BIG! And that makes all the difference.

i love this one!

2007-02-21T17:58:00.000+05:30

number plates

2006-12-27T12:57:00.000+05:30

They say never judge a girl by her bumper sticker.. :) i remember my sister or someone saying something similar about number plates in the US. If we had to judge someone by his number plate... what would you think of this guy?

Friends of a different feather

2006-12-04T00:09:00.000+05:30

Been having a great weekend. My mom sent me two trunks full of my stuff and ofcourse a whole bunch of household things that my folks thought I should have. When I opened the boxes, I thought: “Hmmm!! The last of my stuff! I’ve truly moved out of home.” And immediately felt a tinge of sadness, till I realized my most precious possessions were not here. They were at a place I called home: A black teddy bear named Ben (after Bennett Landsmann from Erich Segal’s -The Doctors) and my book collection at last count was somewhere over 700( and that’s was three-four years back). I love books. I love the smell of a new book. I love the crispness of the pages. I love the smell of old books (though sometimes they make me sneeze). I love going into a bookstore and browsing through all the books that they have. I’m pretty happy for hours just browsing.

My love affair with books started a long time ago. Somewhere at the age of two. Mom read me stories to shut me up initially and then continued doing so when she realized I really enjoyed it. Mom was a voracious reader herself. Her collection of books (Which I have now staked claim to) was pretty eclectic. It had a very healthy mix of history, autobiographies, romance, fiction and all.

My first memory of a book was something my mom read out to me. I don’t remember the story but it had to do with animals which kept popping out of the book every time she turned the page. Boy did I love those! Then came all the fairy tales. My dad got so many Russian stories but I remember most was about the burning phoenix. So till the age of five, I lived with a Natasha and Misha and phoenixes coexisting with the funny animals from the Panchatantra, Tenali Rama and Krishna and Rama and all the crazy characters from my grandmom’s and mom’s stories. The Amar Chitra kathas were a hot favorite. Dennis the menace was the comic strip that mom and I enjoyed together and some of my fave characters- from the indrajal comics- Phantom, Mandrake, Bahadur, Flash Gordon. With Phantom, I dreamed of holding Alexander the great’s diamond cup, and being a jungle princess and sleeping in a jade hut( not that I really knew who Alexander the great was or what jade was!) I dreamt of riding a horse named Hero and going thru a waterfall and heading to a skull cave. Probably why I’ve never had a fear of skeletons. With Flash Gordon I explored nooks and corners of other worlds….

My move to SHY (Sacred Heart’s Yercaud- the boarding school) was my introduction to Hans Anderson Fairy Tales and Grimms fairy tales. I hurt for the little mermaid, scoffed at red riding hood, never wanted my hair to ever grow as long a rapunzel( the thought of combing my unruly hair hurt, forget actually having a man use it as a rope) , wanted to be the snow queen, related to grumpy from the seven dwarfs in the mornings… It was also my introduction to Enid Blyton. I loved the St Clare’s and Malory Towers series. Being in boarding school, sometimes, it did give you ideas. Then there was the Famous Five and the Secret Seven. I ran away in my head with all of them. My books took me to another world. A world of adventures. So a boring Saturday afternoon, I had the most adventurous time.

All these characters weren’t just characters in a book. They were very good friends. They were people with whom I laughed, I cried, I had adventures and the most fabulous time. Maybe that’s why I never really enjoyed the movie adaptation of the books. My imagination was far better.

By the time I was in Std. III I had read most of the classics. William Wordsworth was my favorite poet at the age of 8 and I loved Daffodils. He wrote some really cheerful poems which I loved. I had also read Wuthering heights. I think I appreciated the emotions behind the book when I read it again at 24. At that time I just decided that Heathcliff was a little too depressing for me. I had most certainly decided not to hang out with him. I love Little Women and I so could relate to the character of Jo.
Then some souls (Bless them!) had published the whole series of Shakespeare in a comic series. I enjoyed it. I loved Viola in The Twelfth Night, Rosalind in As you like it and Portia in the Merchant of Venice. I love Ariel in the Tempest. And I really thought Macbeth needed a spine. I didn’t particularly think highly of Antonio from the Merchant of Venice. And what I liked even at that tender age was the fact that most of Shakespeare’s heroes were Women. :) I liked Othello but I didn’t understand his fixations or his obsessions. I never really managed to read shakespeare as it was written except for when it was crammed down in lit class from a lousy teacher. My interpretation of the character and hers were poles apart. Sufficed to say we didn't share a similar sense of humor.

Along with all this came the lady detective from the US, the boy detectives I would have loved to date and the crazy bunch from Riverdale. Nancy Drew, Hardy boys and the Archies. The woman drove a car and had a really handsome boyfriend at 18.
And once I finished the entire series and then started on Mata Hari’s biography or was it a write up in some magazine. I forget but I was fascinated. I read it around the same time my hormones had begun discovering the male existence in the world and I had started considering boys a level higher than nuisance and I went through the whole phase of moonies( read M&Bs Barbara Cartland and Georgette Heyer, Johanna Lindsey and Nora Roberts). Nora Roberts is still amazing. It was also when I discovered a few gentlemen names Sidney Sheldon, Jeff Archer, Jack Higgins, Fredrick Forsthye, Eric Segal, Robert Ludlum. The first Robert Ludlum I read was The Bourne Identity – fell in love with David Webb.:) And the one constant at the time in my life was the the character of Swami from the Malgudi days. The simplicity of R K Narayanan’s writing makes me feel all nostalgic reminding me my childhood holidays in kerala of lush green fields, orchards, or blue green pools and lakes… or a small running stream, playing cricket and hide and seek…I also read a lot of Mark Twain. I love most of his stuff. Running away in my head in a Mark Twain story was the easiest.

Today, I still read pretty much anything I get my hands on.I love Ayn Rand, ma never liked her. I didn't read anything for two months after i read Han Suyin;s till morning comes. I was that depressed and thankful that i lived in a different country, I’m still getting through the Arthashastra and I read a lot of philosophy. I don’t agree with most of them and my mom says its because I’m at an age where I would still be skeptical. I discovered Calvin and Hobbes somewhere along the way. And that has become a big part of my reading. And I love the Harry Potter Series. I like the fact that we still have magic in our lives if we only look hard enough.

I don’t particularly like renting from a library. I love owning the book. I love adding it to my collection. And I don’t like movie adaptation. I like my imagination more. I know that when I have a place of my own every room is going to have space for books. I know i'll have a study full of them.

Over the years I’ve had a lot of friends (the human type) and quite a few in my inner circle. And a few who’ve shared my passion for books. But with all the twists and turns in the rollercoaster life I lead, in the midst of all the chaos, I’ve had two with whom I could run away for a few hours- my imagination and my book.